The 7 hour flight from Hong to Cairns didn’t look too much hassle, on paper. However the repercussions of cramming dinner, sleep and breakfast into a three hour window, passing two time zones and landing at 4 in the morning, are such that I feel slightly ‘discombobulated’. What also didn’t help was the gentleman sitting next to me who proceeded to tell me, at length, how he had been doing a gig with Gerry and the Pacemakers. The conversation only ending when I told him, at length, and in the nicest possible way, that at this hour I really couldn’t care.

Australian customs are some of the strictest in the world. If it grows, smells, is edible or dirty, and especially a combination of these, then you are probably not allowed to bring it into the country. Which led to the following: -

“Are you carrying any footwear other than that you are wearing sir?” bellowed the customs official.

“Urr, No” I replied, and may it be added – without thinking.

She hauled my rucksack onto the x-ray machine and froze the screen to reveal a size 12 pair of leather hiking boots consuming roughly half my pack.

“Oh yes, I forgot about those”

She looked into my tired eyes doubtfully and whipped out some papers.

Restraining myself from saying “Look Miss, its four in the morning and I’ve been cooped up with some wanna be rock’n’roll star..etc” I answered her inquisition and managed to escape with a minor shoe cleaning and the confiscation of some saffron that I was supposed to post. Sorry Matt, but your culinary wizardry will have to wait.

I’m now in Cairns, a supposed city that appears to consist of a few dozen pristinely kept blocks, a swimming lagoon and a panoramic ocean view. Despite the lack of Hong Kong’s technology such as talking escalators and bickering urinals, people still seem to manage not to piss down the stairs or get their fingers wedged in the lavatory. In short, it’s clean, well organized and realistic. Yes its expensive, but the facilities and quality are excellent. 20 pounds can get you a nights sleep and three basic meals, an amount that would probably stretch to 3 times fish’n’chips and a night in the cells were I back home.

I’ll probably head out to the Great Barrier Reef tomorrow and do some snorkeling, but for the time being I've got ‘no worries’.